Tear Stains on the Bench
Carina and Caesar She told me this week she was done...finished with tears in her eyes. Her voice was loud, direct and forceful with a hint of fear. I heard the fear mostly. I usually ignore the tears but I heard the fear. I tried to question her about the fear but it only made her angrier...more upset. She turned my questions into hate and accused me of hating her. How could she ever imagine in her mind that I could ever have the capacity in my soul to hate her? My oldest daughter...my first born...the child that changed my entire life and existence. I felt disappointment...sadness but hate, never hate. I picked her up from the barn after her riding lesson. She cried the whole way home. She said, "Mom...I can't do this anymore. I don't want to ride anymore. I haven't wanted to ride for a long time. I have been doing it for you. I don't want to upset you but it is not fun doing something when you are always afraid." That was all I heard....